Zhi Xin,
Did you realise that you have just lost your focus in life because of something that you previously didn't even think that it exists? You thought people who believe in it are stupid so you didn't really care about anything related to it. It should just be something small that makes life seems more complete.
But now, your emotions get affected by this nonsense all the time. You try to understand everything related to it, knowing that there is no way you can understand this thing that does not and should not be any of the purposes of your life. And then you are afraid of the uncertainty when you are unable to predict what is coming next because this is just a subject that you usually do not pass.
So what if what comes next is not what you expect it to be?
Yes, you will be disappointed or maybe sad, but then you still have to move on. This thing that distracts you from what you are supposed to do may still appear at anytime in the future. It will be good if you finally know the theory behind it but if you don't, please remember what I have just told you and stay away from it.
zhi xin
