YES I WAS OFFENDED IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE ANSWER

长长的总结

最近每一天都过得好累

一直告诉自己要振作

不知道怎么心情总是很糟

很想让自己心情好起来

所以有事没事我都在唱歌

还好我同学跟室友都还算是很有耐心的人

不好意思啦

要你们忍受我那

呵呵

不是特别好听的歌声

越来越没有心情念书

还有不到三个礼拜就预考了

总觉得读书没什么意思

有点找不到生活的目标的感觉

呵呵

心情一直很不好

放学后回到宿舍

也不知是因为太累

还是因为心情不好的感觉真的很难受  想逃避

所以我一睡就是至少两个小时

晚上也没法专心温习

一时看着镜子对自己说话

一时坐在床上唱歌

要不然就睁大眼睛躺在床上

这礼拜该做的事都没做完

有点担心自己会得精神病

室友跟同学经常都说我神经质

害我现在也开始怀疑自己的精神问题

我宁愿我是考试压力太大

至少那能推动我用功一点

但我却一点动力也没有

只是心情很不好很不好

也不知道为什么

每天恍恍惚惚的

Deactivate 了Facebook

想让自己专心一点

现在发觉自己专不专心跟Facebook 也没什么关系

现在还是一样什么都没复习

周末应该就会activate了吧

哈哈

怎么那么失败

如果我这个人可以爽快一点

那应该有多好

我心情不好时就可以摆在脸上告诉全世界

不想上课就干脆不要去学校

想搞清楚一件事就直接去问

唉

看来我的静坐的成果也不是很好

依然看不开

也放不下很多事情

所以叻

就会每天戴着个面具

连小丑都有个真的面具可以戴

他可以在面具背后做任何表情

大部分人竟然必须戴着人皮造的面具

有点可悲耶

最近左肩一直又酸又痛

加上所有的事情都不是自己所希望的那样

真的好想放假

我想去旅行

我也并不是那么坚强地能够一直积极面对人生

还有

最近学会了一件事情

就是接受自己一个人吃饭

住宿舍那么多年了

始终很难接受一个人吃饭

宁愿吃泡面也不要一个人坐在dining hall

最近好像变老了

没有那么在乎这种事情了

呵呵

有些事总是要慢慢学的

那个同学啊

我答应给你的东西不知道该不该给你

其实你要的话几个礼拜前就可以给你了

只是你说不急

那其实你也不是很在乎吧

那我也不要那么在乎好了

人在自己越在乎的事情面前

越显得没有价值

我也累了

要休息充电了

汽车到加油站加油

可能加了油之后就拐到另一个路口了

这真是愉快的一个礼拜

星期一

物理课我们学设计实验

整堂课几乎不需要写一个字

上了又轻松又有意思的一堂课

星期二

化学测验 自己改了选择题

挺满意自己的分数的

又是开心的一天

星期三

H3 Chemistry test

依然不是很会做

但至少把题都答完了

算是自己小小的进步 :)

见到了半年多没见的姐姐

还请我吃了Pizza

幸福啊！

星期四

原本下午的物理测验

突然说是LT1被其他人订了

让我们带回家做

也让我有机会好好地睡了个午觉

星期五

体育课玩了handball 之后玩frisbee

一直又跑又跳的

傍晚CCA Handover Ceremony

结束了之后有种如释重负的感觉

终于交棒了 :)

这是个又充实又愉快的一个星期

没有人知道

其实这五天我一直难过得要死

康复中

一切都会好的

找回自己

总有些事

会让你愿意放下一直都维护着的尊严

抛开一直以来遵守的原则

我会每天静静地坐着

至少十五分钟

慢慢地找回自己

再也不会为了什么失去自我了

也有冲动的时候

就让我奋不顾身一次吧！

就这么一次

以后不会重复做同样一件事了

人生总该要有不顾一切为目标前进的时候

成败已经不重要了

至少我曾经搬出了那么多的勇气

这样就够了

苦中作乐

每星期最期待的就只剩体育课

唯一可以让我乱跑又乱喊的课

老师说我们班很amazing

可以把所有的事情弄得很好玩

我班同学就说这是苦中作乐

念书念得很苦

体育课真必须好好地玩

那太阳晒得我快中暑

frisbee也让我跑得快断气

但就是很喜欢那草场的感觉

Memories

Some things just can't be explained

Don't ask me why, please

I just hope that everything will be ok in the end

Everything has become part of our memories

还有几个六年半？

搭飞机走了  我的那个朋友

那个记忆中坐在我左前方的朋友

那个拿我学会 collar pin 玩的朋友

对他的印象就只有这些

六年半没见面了

最后一次见面的时候  竟然没有道别

但他一直存在着

他出国  是件很久以前就知道会发生的事

所以  现在当然不会有特别的不舍或是伤感还是什么的

只是偶尔会想知道

下次见面会是在几个六年半之后？

领成绩风波

最近班上不少同学都在议论着这样一件事

我们班有个成绩特别好的男生

各科成绩在全校前五名的名单内肯定能找到他的名字

这同学最得意的科目应该就是化学吧

所以一直以来他都把目标设在成为全级化学成绩最佳的那一个

这次的考试

他的化学分数为88.5

全级最高的来自另一班

分数为89.5

所以我班的这同学拼了老命想找出可以让他多加一分的地方

听说还为自己没成为全级最佳而哭

他在班上哭的这件事就是重点

大家开始议论纷纷地说

都取得那么高分了，还难过什么，也不想想那些需要那一分来及格的同学

。。。。。。

所以结论是

当你成绩考得比别人好一些

不管你多难过

最好不要露出什么表情

笑  人家说你自满

哭  人家说你不体谅他人感受

其实我也觉得在这考试中考了88.5的高分

是真的没有必要哭

他哭的理由也确实很奇怪

但我更不认同的是那些在背后议论他的同学

人家为考试努力了那么久

拿到成绩时要有什么心情还要由你来决定？

每个人在不同方面对自己的要求都不一样

可能他付出了应该要成为全级最佳的努力

但没有得到同等的回报

所以他难过

就像每一个同学考试没考好

然后觉得难过的一样难过

这个时候

我们又有什么资格

以自己的标准

去帮人家决定他们应该要有什么感受？

Some sort of disappointment

It was sad that I failed to wake the sleeping people up during the presentation

One year ago, in the speech competition

one of the contestants who was playing with her phone throughout

looked up at me on the stage when I started talking

The feeling was good

and it gave me confidence to continue with my speech

A few weeks after that

during the EXCO election speech day

the teacher who was busy marking his students' work when people were speaking

did the same as the contestant above when I spoke

During PW oral presentation

the audience who were sleeping woke up when it was my turn to present

I am not sure whether these people just happened to lift up their heads 

or they were really being attracted by what I said

but I was vain enough to feel good about myself when I saw their eyes on me

Today

during the physics presentation in class

there were people who were already sleeping before our group's presentation

and we were the only group that did not use a powerpoint to present

so everything just seemed boring (it was really boring perhaps)

the first time when it was my turn to speak

I was hoping that I could do some magic to wake those people up

but apparently I failed

then I passed on the time to my groupmates

I was kind of frustrated

as people were just talking and some sleeping during the presentation (I am really thankful for the rest who at least showed that they were listening)

after a while, the teacher woke those who were sleeping up

it was really embarrassing for the presenters

and you know why

at last, it was my turn again

I did my best

but only managed to stop some people from talking

and did not have much impacts on those who were falling asleep

I am not like a very talented person

so I always expect people to at least listen to me when I speak at the front

It is just disappointing when you are not doing well in something, or most probably the only thing that you are better at.

Resonance 2011

In physics, resonance is the tendency of a system to oscillate with larger amplitude at some frequencies than at others. These are known as the system's resonant frequencies. At these frequencies, even small periodic driving forces can produce large amplitude oscillations, because the system stores vibrational energy. -- Wikipedia


Couldn't really come out with the definiton of 'Resonance' by myself, so I searched for it from the net.
The definition above shows how well our concert was named. The name 'Resonance' was suggested by Yijie if I remember correctly. It totally reflects the dynamic of our class, 10SH23, especially the part of 'even small periodic driving force can produce large amplitude oscillation'.

I would say the 'small periodic driving force' comes from our dearest personal mentor, Miss Lim Wei Li, a young and enthusiastic lady. Somehow, in those crucial few days of preparing for the concert, everyone in the class came to the same frequency and resonance was achieved. Then everyone put in his/her best and brought the concert towards great success (large amplitude oscillation).


On Tuesday, the school announced banning of all concerts in Term 3. After talking to Mr Yeo, the VP for a few times, Miss Lim finally said that the concert could proceed on Wednesday morning. I felt relieved but at the same time I was really afraid that we would not be able to get everything done in two days time.


The Saturday before the concert was our very first tech-run. On Friday afternoon, we suddenly found out that the PA crew were not really informed of the rehearsal and the SOP was to register at least one week before we need them to come. I am really grateful that they were willing to send their crew to help despite the last minute registration (90% of it was because we had Qian Ying in our class....haha...:)


Now I am lazy to go through all the details here. Anyway, we had our 2nd and 3rd  rehearsal and finally the concert ended beautifully. The whole process of preparing for Resonance 2011 was exciting and tiring, especially during the last few days (or the only few days).

I am really thankful that I am in NJ and in this special class with special people. I believe that 10 years later, when we think about our JC life, we will see these happy faces of ourselves and our classmates.

Define 'TRUE'

You know why things are just so unbearable for you?

It is because you have always been expecting

or hoping that people will not do well

So you get frustrated

when you don't do better than them

When you keep saying that there are no 'true friends' around you

Have you ever asked yourself whether you have been 'true' to your friends?

If yes, you should, at least, feel happy when things go well for them

and not what your actions show right now.

who am I?

我竟然

变得

如此

现实

There were a lot of miscommunications

I admit that I was partly at fault

when i first knew about what they have said

the first thing i told myself was not to offend anyone

and the reason was because we still need their help

months ago

i remember telling my junior to have good relationship with everyone

because he would need them to get things done in the future

so now

my only reason for being good to the others

is to ensure that i will get what I want either now or in the future?

打败仗了

Common Test 2011 就这样结束了

今后再也没有Common Test 这回事了

上礼拜三还跟朋友说，很快的很快的，一个星期很快就会过去的

真的是很快 真的就考完了

一直都蛮期待这次考试的

从年头就告诉自己

去年没有考好的 这次考试都要考好

但老实说 我却没有非常的努力

GP 跟 Economics

应该只花了一个星期多的时间准备

说服了自己要带着满满的信心进考场

但看见了题目我就觉得信心是没有用的

Physics 跟 Maths 没有特别好

但也不是最烂的

反而是Chemistry

考完就有想倒在地上哭的感觉

不知道为什么是‘倒在地上’

反正就是对自己彻底失望

Pharmaceautical Chemistry

让我最紧张的一科

是我从来就考不好

但也一直都很在意的一科

考试前就知道老师不会那么善良

离开宿舍前

我：张越，掰掰，我要去打仗了。

越：加油啊，芷欣！你一定可以打胜仗的！

我：我不要被杀死就好了，不敢奢望打胜仗。。。哈哈！

回到宿舍后

越：嗨，芷欣！考完了啊？

我：对，考完了！伤势惨重，刚是被抬回来的。

越：。。。

所以啊

我就是打败仗了

原谅我那么直接

但我不想为了维持良好关系而隐瞒我对你的不认同

考完试再让我慢慢思考这个问题