Now we are going back to school for normal lessons. Six more weeks to A-levels but I am not ready to start studying yet. The teachers are good, friends are nice and the weather is ok. Everything is fine and I was able to concentrate in class for the past two days though the results were demoralising. Perhaps I should really stop dreaming about getting whichever scholarships to bring me out of Singapore.
If you hate me simply because you think that I should not be sad over my results, go ahead. I won't care because everyone has the right to decide how they feel about their own things.
I am reading this book about a girl, Jasmine Yow, a Malaysian scholar who was studying in my school a few years back and was (is still) suffering from depression. It sort of motivated me because I can't afford to become like her. I simply do not have the money to go back and take up a course in some private college if I don't do well. She is really a very talented girl and you just cannot deny the fact that Singapore had, to some extent, ruined the life of a smart and beautiful teenager.
Oh no, it is getting depressing again. I should actually feel lucky that I am not suffering from any mental disorders at this stage and can still think positive about life. Most importantly, I do not have parents who set really high expectations on me. I always remember mum telling me to sleep and rest and not to push myself too hard.
Being a good daughter, I actually listen to her and slept for 3 hours just now. I always wonder if someone has put some hypnotic drug in my room. My roommate slept even longer than me.
Rest for 2 more days and I will start studying. It is gonna be December soon. :)
