原谅我那么直接

但我不想为了维持良好关系而隐瞒我对你的不认同

考完试再让我慢慢思考这个问题

谢谢你

让我每晚都笑着入睡

清晨也笑着睁开眼

My holiday

The past few days in KL was fun
I brought my work and everything is still blank now
I am already counting down to the next holiday
when I can sit around a table with friends and just talk about random stuff

I think I am a bit disappointed as I didn't have the chance to meet up with a friend that I was supposed to meet
so we will just wait for the day when we accidentally bump into each other on the street or something
hope you will enjoy studying in Australia
just remember to say bye to me when you are leaving :)

Perhaps it would be more fun if another friend did not leave halfway
Wanted to ask him to stay
but he already had a plan with his friends
so there wasn't much I could do..

anyway
thank you everyone for making my KL trip wonderful

now I have to start studying :(

You raise me up... to more than I can be

Start of holiday

Holiday has started

Not exactly a holiday

More like a study break

But it is still better than having to wake up at 7am everyday

and most importantly

I am going home!

Nothing much attractive about my home actually

but sometimes you just want to escape from where you live currently :)

Monday was Joping's birthday

For those who do not know

The short hair one is Joping

The one in black is Xiaojun

Hope she is happy with the presents we gave her

And the family fondue at Andersen was nice

though Xiaojun wanted to vomit after eating it...

It's really wonderful to have friends to celebrate birthday for you.. :)

Class CIP

I would say it is going on well

hope the concert will really happen in the end

Many people have put in a lot of effort

And I believe the rest will also

contribute in their own ways

Actually I really love 10SH23

even though every single person is 'not like other normal people'

Welfare Committee

I have not been talking about it since long time ago

Finally i have told the teacher what I think

And there will be no Welfare Committee anymore

It is not necessary to get a group of people to try doing things that will never be approved by school

Perhaps it was because I am too lousy

so nothing could get approved..

COGZ exco interview was interesting

Some elects were really boring

But some were really funny

But I hate it when the teachers just want to have a say in anything

We have shortlisted a group of people

Then they put some of them under 'pending'

simply because they have not really noticed them

And some of those we have eliminated

They want them to get into the second round

simply because they are their students

There wasn't a need for us to interview them

when the teachers already have in mind who they want...

whatever

I have learnt not to care so much

and I am not complaining to any of my fellow excos.

Should be focusing on studying since it is a 'study break'

I am one day behind the schedule I planned

meeting Xiaojun later

CIP discussion tomorrow

meering Yeeching on Saturday

and going home on Sunday

Happy Studying! :)

I am tired

Tired of trying to find out what I want to be in the future

Tired of reminding myself that I am not qualified for the course I want for most universities because of I decision randomly made by my secondary school VP

Tired of knowing that I did extremely badly for gp ad econs

Tired of planning to study the remaining subjects

Tired of waiting for reply from NUH

Tired of guessing what the person is thinking

Tired of having to smile at people who irritate me

Tired of listening to the band playing outside my window

Tired of feeling tired

我清楚地感受到了你的残忍

但在你拿起武器之前

能不能请你告诉我

是为什么

好让我死也死得明白一点

竟然差点忘了

我们只是朋友

不该对你有那么高的要求

:)

不管内心曾经是多么的激动

总有一天会平静下来的

会忘了去在乎

会让它变成回忆的一部分

Lines

There are lines everywhere in the world

Some of them join things together

And some separate things

I saw many many lines today

even on a round table

Golf

Why do people want to hit a ball into a black hole repeatedly?

Good friends

I told you what difficulty I was facing

and I saw a smirk on your face

You have been trying your best to make me feel bad or sad

but I will continue to be nice to you

because I do not want to be the same as you

You will smile and wave and say hi to me whenever you see me

so will I

久违的自在

这两天

是我这个学段里过得最自在的两天

两周之内有个占了A level成绩百分之二十的考试

三周之后开始年中考试

但这两天

除了睡觉吃饭上学洗澡之外

其余时间我都在看着跟室友借来的《读者》

五分钟前

我看完了最后一篇文章

有种好久都没尝过的满足感

除了有关经济学的文章我只大略扫了几眼

其他文章我都一字一句地读过

但也不能说我完全领悟了每一篇文章

我不是个特别有文学修养的人

那满足感并不来自于得到了多少启发

而是自己终于再次投入于做一件事

一件跟学业无关

但也不会让自己产生罪恶感的事

有一刻 

我看了看桌上的H3 化学讲义

我把《读者》放下了

拿起讲义 盯着第一页

我把讲义放下了

拿起《读者》

我不应该是个理科生吗？

Wake up please

Zhi Xin,

Did you realise that you have just lost your focus in life because of something that you previously didn't even think that it exists? You thought people who believe in it are stupid so you didn't really care about anything related to it. It should just be something small that makes life seems more complete.

But now, your emotions get affected by this nonsense all the time. You try to understand everything related to it, knowing that there is no way you can understand this thing that does not and should not be any of the purposes of your life. And then you are afraid of the uncertainty when you are unable to predict what is coming next because this is just a subject that you usually do not pass.

So what if what comes next is not what you expect it to be?

Yes, you will be disappointed or maybe sad, but then you still have to move on. This thing that distracts you from what you are supposed to do may still appear at anytime in the future. It will be good if you finally know the theory behind it but if you don't, please remember what I have just told you and stay away from it.

zhi xin

假象

希望
现在所看见听见感觉到的
都不是假象

就算有一天
你发现
我必须要从这假象中逃出来
请不要直接地告诉我
让我慢慢地发觉
慢慢地接受
慢慢地放下

好吗？