昕~when the sun rises

10~11 让我开心的小小的事

2012-01-19T18:19:00.000+08:00

1. 午餐能吃到‘菜饭’摊的荷包蛋
2. 在班上答对了老师的问题
3. 学校宣布Half day
4. CAFÉ 的小孩子全到
5. 跟Ms Chong 讲话不被她骂
6. 走在宿舍后面的住宅区吃冰淇淋
7. 吃晚餐时大家坐满一张桌子
8. 早餐可以吃炒饭/米粉
9. 周四的宵夜是donut
10. SP 骂我没塞衣服然后没有记我名
11. 体育节
12. 可以一躺下就睡着
13. 可以睡到自然醒
14. 王鹤儒切水果给张越吃
15. 在公园荡秋千
16. 一个人在街上走
17. Break curfew 没有被骂
18. 找到Movie Night 能播的DVD
19. 清洁安娣跟我讲早安
20. 洗衣机及烘干机正常操作
21. 跟大家在一起

Happy CNY

2012-01-18T23:23:00.000+08:00

I love this long Chinese New Year holiday

We get to stay at home for as long as we want

Zw and Yc do not have to worry about the air tickets to go back Singapore

Daniel gets to go back Miri

and everyone gets to enjoy more of the Chinese New Year songs for at least more than one week

Anyway I will miss eating Yusheng with 10SH23

the CNY celebration in school

and of course the Angpao from Jp's mum

Still, I enjoy being home now!

Happy CNY!

2012-01-12T11:19:00.001+08:00

有时候

我觉得自己是幸福的

但是在更多的时候

我却讨厌这种幸福的感觉

让我在其他时候

感觉特别不幸福

Ok you can laugh at me now

2011-12-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

今早起床

我写了封e-mail

内容大致是这样的

Mr Daniel Yew,

This is to inform you that I do not intend to proceed with my application to UK universities.

我看了很久

后来又改了

改成了

May I know if it is too late if I submit my UCAS application in these two days?

下午

我收到的回复是

Yes, you may submit your application within these two days

我感谢今早的自己

没有因为害怕后果

而放弃申请

事情是这样的

UCAS deadline 是15/1

但学校给我们UCAS Application 的截止日期是8/12

那时我就玩啊玩

心想着UK也没scholarships

也不想写Personal Statement

所以就不管了

前两天

一个朋友就说了又劝

劝了又说

搞得我又有点害怕自己后悔

所以就继续申请了

昨晚睡前又想了很久

现在才交应该会被骂死

而且负责老师是Ms Shawna Lim （我很喜欢的一个老师）

可能Testimonial也遭殃

所以为了顾全大局

还是不申请吧

所以我今早写了那封email

其实我现在还在写Personal Statement

这一整天

除了开心

就只有感激

开心

是因为以为被判了死刑

但却被给了个努力的机会

感激

老师的那句虽短却意义重大的回复

也谢谢当时在线跟我分享这喜悦的ZW

回去写Statement 了

不然就白开心一场了

Bye UK

2011-12-28T20:44:00.000+08:00

Ok I am a failure

really wanted to go UK

but I am not even applying

When people ask 'why', maybe I will say 'there's no scholarships'

but the real reason is

I missed the school deadline to submit UCAS application

and I am lazy to go through the process of getting scolded for not doing things before the deadline bla bla bla

so bye bye UK...

I googled how to get rid of this

2011-12-25T01:14:00.000+08:00

Ok I am a bad person

I am sorry

Really want to write it here

but I CAN'T

because people read this!

Anyway I am still nice for not writing it here

Please go away...

Give me a peaceful christmas

Google doesn't help.

Random

2011-12-12T00:11:00.000+08:00

失去了原来从来不属于自己的东西

竟然也会如此难过

Move on, move on....

Morning without the smell of NJ

2011-12-09T12:50:00.000+08:00

Woke up in the morning

I thought I would hear someone cutting the grass outside my room

and cleaners cleaning the toilet

When I turn to my right

I would see Zhang Yue's blanket and her Pooh bear

That's how I woke up in weekends' mornings

Then, I opened my eyes

and saw my room at home.

I will never go back to the room 204 anymore.

Happy Holiday everyone!

End of a 4-Year-Chapter

2011-12-09T02:32:00.000+08:00

I am Home!!!

There are so many things to update here but I am really lazy now.

Life in Singapore ends with wonderful memories with 10SH23.

Will definitely miss you guys!

过了重重难关之后

2011-11-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

先是要说

我考完试了

不算完全考完

就剩下周的两张选择题

一直期待着今天的4.30pm

当学校TF11时钟指着4点半的时候

也表示A level Pharm Chem 将从此离开我的生活

它像是一颗很重很重的石头压了在我身上一年

有时还会因为它担心得睡不着

我不会在这里写说考试考得怎么样

不想去回忆

不想去知道

直到成绩放榜的那一天

考完不久之后

一个H3同学打电话来问我

"Hey do you want to BURN YOUR NOTES?"

我就开始狂笑

还是第一次听人那么认真地问这个问题

可见这科目给大家造成了多大的压力

但我没有后悔

我是真的感兴趣

只是考试总是考不好

也很庆幸有一群有点神经质的朋友

考前十五分钟竟然在考场外像疯子那样

笑得乱七八糟

上课的时候也经常那样

虽然我经常说自己不喜欢新加坡

ok...我依然没有很喜欢新加坡

但我觉得今年的我很幸福

没有什么理由

就是种感觉

虽然还是有不如意的时候

但是整体上来说是很快乐的一年

主要应该是因为出现在身边的人

真的很感激他们的存在

再写就不知道要写到哪里去了

今天要好好休息

祝我好运

2011-11-23T09:32:00.000+08:00

真的很害怕

从昨天考完Physics 到现在

心情完全没有平复过

要考H3

才发现自己真的很害怕失败

我真的特别特别希望能考好这一科

111111

2011-11-11T20:29:00.000+08:00

Finished 5 papers

8 more to go!

Jiayou!

Lunch

2011-10-30T21:46:00.000+08:00

My lunch today

Maggi curry + egg

I don't know why it looks so ugly here

but it was nice

especially the half-cooked egg yolk

Haha...sorry I am quite bored, so I will just post any random stuff in my life for these few weeks.

9 days to As!

电话号码

2011-10-29T23:35:00.000+08:00

有些号码

可以从手机里删了

但却记在心里了

比如

我家的电话号码

Organic Chem Textbook

2011-10-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

Studying H3 today

When I get bored I like doing this to my book

I like colourful textbooks

And I am gonna let this book stay with me until forever :)

10 days left!

暴风雨前夕

2011-10-28T21:54:00.000+08:00

这两天很平静

我知道要考试了

可能这就是暴风雨前夕的平静

只剩下11 天的时间了

但是我睡得还算安稳

还没有失眠的情况

心情也很平静

我喜欢坐在宿舍的Dining hall

特别是周日的早上

或是周五周六的一整天

那群活泼的小孩子不会在我周围大吵大闹

不喜欢他们在宿舍吵

主要是因为那让我无法专心做该做的事

可能也是因为有点不甘

自己回不去那些跟一群朋友一起笑得乱七八糟的日子

重点是

要考试了

我开始学会把它看成是我一生的一小部分

（但我不得不承认我依然很在乎）

也发现了它就是我在新加坡这四年的一个总结

对。。。四年的日子就这样过去了

还很清晰地记得在循中上课的最后一天

站在教室外面对着宝羚沈渊哭

我偶尔还会怀恋那D101教室

人应该向前看的

暂时还看不见远方的什么

但是讲义就在我面前

该去看了

Have a nice weekend! :)

不要跟我讲福建话

2011-10-25T17:40:00.000+08:00

今天中午坐在宿舍的一个pantry读书

不久后一个打扫清洁的安娣就推着装了各种肥皂、抹布etc etc 的推车走来

因为之前看她在另一个pantry拖地

为了不要挡着她工作

我就问：“安娣，你是不是要抹地？”

准备收拾东西离开

安娣就开始“#%$%^@&%^$$#@#2”，说了一堆我听不懂的福建话

最后说了两句“抹好了，早就抹好了！（还是福建话，不过我听懂）”

还好听懂了这两句（应该只有这两句有在回答我问题）

我跟安娣微笑点点头，“噢”了两声，继续看我的书

安娣好像发现了我不是很懂她在讲什么

后来就开始用中文跟我聊

问我熨斗是不是没有关电，怎么好像有个味道（其实已经关了）

又问我掉在地上的纸写些什么（写着烘干机不能用）

最后安娣擦完了桌子要推着她的车走了

走前她跟我讲：“等下你写完字之后记得off the light ho。”

这安娣真是trilingual…

我现在闷得快疯了

其实很多事要做

很多书要读

不过我现在看到那一叠叠的纸就想睡觉

就趁这个机会在这里跟大家讲一声

会讲中文或英文的话就请不要跟我讲福建话

我只会面无表情地看着你

回去读书 :)

一个人

2011-10-23T21:42:00.000+08:00

一个人拿着杯珍珠奶茶在街上漫无目的地走着

其实很好玩

今天原本是在图书馆读书的

结果不知是因为感冒还是什么一直无法专心

六点多就离开了

之后就在bugis到处乱逛

虽然伤风伤得我头有少少的痛

鼻子又红眼又肿

独自一个人走在街上可能看起来就像个失恋的女人

管那些谁怎么想

看着一个个陌生的脸从我身边经过

还有那些装潢很漂亮但没什么生意的店铺

当时有点希望自己可以一直这样一个人地走着

后来心情突然变得很好

不过我依然希望

那个突然不回我短讯的人

明天走在路上被狗追

然后撞到电灯柱

再掉进满是青蛙的沟渠里

能忍则忍

2011-10-21T01:00:00.001+08:00

I am thankful that my parents have taught me well, to be polite even when facing those rude and inconsiderate people. When I feel like being vulgar to them, I can still SMILE at them.

I love GP

2011-10-20T13:15:00.002+08:00

I went for consultation with my GP tutor this morning. It was my first formal consultation with a teacher since I enter JC. Er…no…First formal consultation in my life actually. Because of my terrible GP results, my GP tutor did ask to go through some essay questions with me when she came to my boarding school during some weekends. But we ended up talking more about some other random stuff rather than GP.

I actually signed up for today’s consultation with Xiaojun but she decided to abandon me and go for Economics lesson instead. So I was alone with Ms Khoo. Then we started going through my two essay plans. For the first one which I spent one hour preparing, I think she felt that I was writing mostly irrelevant stuff and my approach was like ‘wrong’. So we were redoing that question. Hmm…guess what…our final approach for that question was just the same as my initial way of answering it. But to her (or maybe to any GP teachers), they are different. That is also why I could never score well for GP.

For the second essay, I didn’t dare to show her my plan because I did not want to see the ‘oh no, she is hopeless’ face again. So I was telling her why educational qualifications are reliable or unreliable in measuring a person’s true abilities. Luckily she did not show me the disappointing face anymore.

Yeah….GP I love you.

让我埋怨一下

2011-10-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

刚刚问妆玟如果她突然跟她妈说不想上大学了
她妈妈会有什么反应
妆玟说她应该会蛮ok的
反正她以后要做的事情跟上不上大学没什么关系

其实我会问她那么奇怪的一个问题
是因为我这几天一直在想我到底要做什么
更是发现了我真的不喜欢读书
我没有那种‘求知欲’
我一直都在读是因为我必须读
因为没有办法想象不好好读的后果
我应该承受不起

三星期后就开始考试了
在宿舍没法专心读
到外面去大部分时间我都在张白纸上乱涂鸦
真的不知道自己到底在做什么
其实没有考到自己想要的成绩就不能活了吗？
上了什么著名大学就算是成功了吗？

好了
说完了
你们知道的
不管我埋怨了多少
我就是不会有那个勇气不去读的

所以叻
我妈应该不可能听到我很认真地说我不想上大学了

呵呵
恢复正常吧芷欣

Ignore me

2011-10-17T19:28:00.002+08:00

I was angry because I still care about it.
When I have no feeling towards anything anymore, it simply means that I don't care anymore.

Stop guessing what I mean.

Ponteng :P

2011-10-10T09:23:00.000+08:00

Good morning. So I am 'sick' today. And I realise this place where I have been staying for 1.5 years is actually a prison.

If you are staying in my boarding school, when you are sick and are not going to school, you have to report to the office at 7.30am so they will know that you are sick. But I happily slept until 8am today.

If you do not report, a matron will come up to your room to check whether you are alive. They will know that you are still in the boarding school because you have to tap your card to get the doors open and to leave the hostel. Basically they can track your location at a specific time if you ever use your card to open a door. And there are doors everywhere in the boarding school!

So the Curtain Lady (her hair looks like curtain) came to my room when my friend called and told me that they would come and find me. And I was still wrapped in my blanket. 'Chew Zhi Xin, Chew Zhi Xin. It's 8.30am already. So how?' I felt like telling her, 'What so how? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I AM SICK?' Looking 'sick' and sleepy, I told her, 'Erm...I am...sick.'

She didn't even ask me how I am feeling. Then she went on and said things like 'Do you know that you have to report at 7.30' and 'I give you a chance and you go and report now.' Hello, if people are really sick do you think they will be able to go down and report to you?! But interestingly, most people who are 'sick' do go down.

That's not the end of the story. You still have to get a medical certificate and submit it to the office. I thought it is only the teachers' duty to check MC. My friend said his friend 'died' because he didn't get a MC last time. To make sure that I will still be alive to enjoy my holiday after these 2 months, I decided not to take any risks.

Going to see doctor now. Bye!

生命不在于长短而在于价值

2011-10-08T13:59:00.000+08:00

周四放学回到宿舍打开电脑

Facebook Newsfeed 出现无数个R.I.P Steve Jobs

一个传奇人物的离去总是那么的让人震惊

大家都说希望他R.I.P

但当你的名字或是你说过的话没五秒就被Copy & Paste 在Facebook 上

你还能Rest in Peace 吗？

抱歉Steve Jobs

我也在打扰你

因为我也像大家那么佩服你

主要不是因为你的Apple

而是你让我看见

生命不在于长短而在于价值

It is Thursday again

2011-10-06T22:15:00.001+08:00

It is Thursday again and tomorrow is a Friday.

I was like telling the world that I wanted to skip school today. Eventually, I woke up at 8.10am, stoned on my bed for 5 minutes and decided to go to school. School starts at 8.40am on Thursdays.

Joping didn’t go to school for two days and it was Xiaojun’s turn today. Joping and I had a good chat as we camped at the OAC store during Math lecture. After recharging herself at home for two days, she has really become more energetic. I always believe that it is useful to skip school for one or two days but an MC costs me $5 and it is just not worthwhile to spend $5 to buy one or two hours of sleep. And I am lazy to think of ways of explaining to the teacher about my absence.

This period of preparing for A-levels is truly enjoyable, though I still hate having lessons and doing homework. I am glad to have a bunch of really nice friends around me. They may not be the nicest or the smartest people on the Earth, but they are good people who deserve to succeed in life. And somehow, I think we all look pretty in school uniform.

Another random and messy post. But life is never tidy and structured. Yup, so this is my life.

Timetable

2011-10-03T21:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why do I always fail to follow my timetable, even if I allow myself to read only one topic in three hours. Now I realise it is because there is no sufficient time allocated for me to be emotional, happy or simply to stare at the ceiling thinking of who I am.

It is ok to allow myself to be lazy. At least I am not a robot.

Tomorrow will be another good day, no matter whether it is productive or not. =)

我想死啊！

2011-10-03T00:43:00.000+08:00

从来没试过那么想杀了自己
打了那么多
结果不知发什么神经
手多按了Ctrl + W
然后当那个”Do you want to save your changes to the file" 跳出来的时候
我竟然按了"No"
真想杀了自己！

朋友啊朋友

2011-09-30T17:53:00.002+08:00

我知道你知道，只是你不知道我知道你知道。=)

没想到，一个朋友会因为我说了自己对他一些举动的不满而那么生气。我谢谢他也那么直接地说出这么久以来他对我的看法，至少我总算明白了。

我那个朋友说，他知道我一直以来不喜欢他这个朋友，他学习有困难时我刻意不帮他，因为害怕他会比我好，还说我瞧不起他。他也生气我，说我哪一科已经考得比他好，却依然不开心。

这事情让我很难过。

我不知道他是怎么“知道”我不喜欢他的。他的这句话让我很无奈。当然，我承认，我没有大方得"喜欢"身边朋友的每一个缺点。我偶尔会对他有些不满，但我都直接让他知道了，之后就再也没有生气他了，除了一件事，我一直放在心上。但那件事并没有让我去讨厌这个朋友，毕竟他没有做错什么，只是我依然有个打不开的心结。所以我想说，你误会了。

学业的问题，朋友说，要我问他问题，考一考他。我真的问了，可能每次问的不多，那是因为我也不知道能问什么，问得太简单他是不是会感觉我瞧不起他？我懂得的也有限，去哪找那么多那么难的问题？所以当他说，“你不问我问题，是因为你怕我知道些什么，会让我变得比你好”时，我似乎也不能怪她，那么长一段时间的交情，换来的竟然是这种评价，是我的失败。

朋友说我瞧不起他。我怎么敢呢？他多才多艺，我什么都不会，我还怕他看不起我呐。

又回到成绩。因为我得了B而朋友没得B，那我就没有不开心的理由了？我不开心是因为不满意自己的成绩，只要成绩单上写的不是A（对一些人来说只要不是全级最佳），没有人会满意自己的成绩的。如果我仅仅因为自己考得比朋友好而感觉挺开心的话，那朋友不是更应该提防我这种人吗？

也不能怪这朋友，毕竟有这样想法的人不止他一个。当我告诉一些朋友说谁谁谁因为考了C，而不是很开心的时候，朋友就会马上很激动地说“我D ok？！”

这个世界挺可爱的。虽然说我们都要懂得惜福，但你总不能强迫人家以你的成绩为标准来决定自己要快乐还是难过吧？这些事情，不能直接说，说了就翻脸了。朋友们看了觉得我说错了，那就骂我几句吧。

但要提醒大家一点就是，我不会用你说的一句话来衡量你。

写了那么长，是因为我真的很难过，毕竟这是我很珍惜的一个朋友。他不开心不如意的时候我尝试帮他，或是至少听他诉苦，但他始终不相信我，还当着我的面说：“我在这里没有朋友。”。

我也没有办法做什么了。

心情

2011-09-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

现在这种到底是什么心情啊

难过无奈不安全参杂在一起

真想倒下睡着后再也不醒来

相信你的感觉

2011-09-27T21:12:00.000+08:00

Trust your feeling, especially when you are undecided.

I totally forgot about preparing an Econs essay which Mr Hussian said he would be going through in class today. It was during morning assembly when Xiaojun told me that we had to do that question so I ended up scribbling my ‘plan’ for the essay during Chemistry lesson and I was sitting right at the first row. I had never chosen to do work for other subjects during lessons since I entered JC but somehow the feeling was just so strong that I had to force myself to do Econs in front of my Chemistry teacher despite the disapproval in my friends’ eyes.

Then during Econs lesson, Mr Hussain put his whiteboard marker on my desk, meaning, I had to write my answer on the board. It is really rare that he would do that in class. Although my answer really lacked analysis, at least I had sensible things to write. Otherwise, it would have been a huge embarrassment for me.

So, trust your feeling, as long as it is not asking you to kill or to rob.

I am still trying to figure out what went wrong after getting back my Math papers today. I felt ok after doing Paper 1 and felt horrible after Paper 2. Yet, the scores for my both papers were exactly the same.

Hmm…so, the conclusion is, you may count on your feelings to make decisions but they are not that useful when it comes to predicting your own results.

Okay, time to go back to study. Hope I don’t get anymore demoralising results tomorrow.

Whatever you think I am talking about

2011-09-23T18:44:00.001+08:00

I thought I have a lot to write, but there isn't much to share here actually. My blog is depressing enough so I guess it is time to stop complaining here.

Now we are going back to school for normal lessons. Six more weeks to A-levels but I am not ready to start studying yet. The teachers are good, friends are nice and the weather is ok. Everything is fine and I was able to concentrate in class for the past two days though the results were demoralising. Perhaps I should really stop dreaming about getting whichever scholarships to bring me out of Singapore.

If you hate me simply because you think that I should not be sad over my results, go ahead. I won't care because everyone has the right to decide how they feel about their own things.

I am reading this book about a girl, Jasmine Yow, a Malaysian scholar who was studying in my school a few years back and was (is still) suffering from depression. It sort of motivated me because I can't afford to become like her. I simply do not have the money to go back and take up a course in some private college if I don't do well. She is really a very talented girl and you just cannot deny the fact that Singapore had, to some extent, ruined the life of a smart and beautiful teenager.

Oh no, it is getting depressing again. I should actually feel lucky that I am not suffering from any mental disorders at this stage and can still think positive about life. Most importantly, I do not have parents who set really high expectations on me. I always remember mum telling me to sleep and rest and not to push myself too hard.

Being a good daughter, I actually listen to her and slept for 3 hours just now. I always wonder if someone has put some hypnotic drug in my room. My roommate slept even longer than me.

Rest for 2 more days and I will start studying. It is gonna be December soon. :)

Lies

2011-09-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

What do you do when someone is lying to you and it is so obvious that he/she is lying?

I just do not understand why is there a need to hide the truth from me. I don't really care about whatever the truth is but I just don't get the reason why you lied to me.

Whatever. It is not the first time anyway.

What I am gonna do next is to play for a few days, plan my timetable for the coming 2 months and....STUDY.
21/40 for Chemistry MCQ. It is a D grade. Just hoping that no one in the world knows that I am actually a H3 Chemistry student. I was talking to my friend and once I get back the paper, I think I was mute for at least half and hour. I thought the paper was ok and should be able to get at least a C or B. Perhaps I just overestimated myself. So it's time to face the truth. I am not smart and the only way to get good results is to study hard (though I still do not really understand the point of getting good results). Still, I have to get it, just in case I regret in the future.

Sometimes we lie to ourselves by saying that it's ok and everything will be fine. When we are not even being honest to ourselves, how can we expect others to be honest to us? So I should forgive the friend who lied to me. Yeah.

This post is messy. It doesn't matter if you do not understand. Haha..

Just some random updates

2011-09-21T23:23:00.002+08:00

There are simply too many things to blog about.

Firstly, Prelims is over as I finished the H3 Pharmaceautical Chemistry paper which I have planned to fail. In fact I think last year paper was harder but assuming that I could score 15/100 for last year’s Prelim, I am happy enough if I can get 30/100 for the paper today. I am not exaggerating. I got 25/100 for my Common Test.

Most of my friends finished their paper on Monday and I was really bored staying in the Boarding School, so I actually went for dinner with a friend from another school on Monday. He was actually having Physcis paper 3 on the next day but we still had dinner until 8.30pm. It doesn’t really matter to him I guess cauz he is just smart enough to do well without doing much revision. Haha…Anyway, my main point is just that Malaysians are always the nicest people to talk to, and there are endless topics to talk about when Malaysians come together (maybe there are some exceptions, I don’t know).

Watched 2 movies continuously today. ‘Crazy Stupid Love’ and ‘Final Destination 5’. ‘Crazy’ was funny and worth watching. Somehow I remember this line from one very insignificant guy to his girlfriend in the show the most – ‘I need time to figure out how I feel about us.’ The girl should have scolded him asshole or anything more than that. Haha…’Final’ was the second movie. Perhaps it’s because we were too tired watching two movies continuously, it wasn’t that nice to watch. I think people nowadays are just crazy or have some kind of mental disorders. They try to entertain themselves by making or watching movie about people dying in different ways.

By the way, the guy checking the tickets at the entrance asked whether I was 18. I wanted to tell him that I am about to be 20. But it is a good thing that I look young. Lalala…

I will just stop here today. Quite a lot of things happened in these two weeks but I am not in the mood of writing so much yet.

School starts tomorrow L and I hate it when I have to sit in class or LT listening to people blablabla about how to score in exams.

加油啊！

2011-09-12T15:08:00.000+08:00

I am scared

and my heat beats really quickly, especially when I am trying to sleep

it takes really long for me to fall asleep every night

I am eating chocolate trying to make myself relax

it is quite stupid because dopamine is just going to make me more excited

and my heart continues to beat quickly

Finally I called home

Mum answered the phone and we chatted for a while

I think it is getting ok.

I know I am not the only one feeling scared

Jiayou, all my dear friends (Joping, Xiaojun, Zhuangwen, Qianying, Qiyuen, Bernadette, Yeeching and Zhang Yue)

8 more papers to go!

多管闲事

2011-08-29T13:41:00.000+08:00

我向来不喜欢管他人的事情

只要对方不主动开口问

朋友怎么处理自己个人的问题我也不喜欢多给意见

但有一天

我发现

如果自己不开口

你可能永远都不会意识到自己的问题

所以我提醒你

希望再也不会听见任何对你负面的评价

你好像明白了

但你的行动却告诉我你没有明白

我以为是我没说清楚

所以我又一再地提醒

但你似乎根本没有想过要改变

可能你有自己的原因

可能我了解事情得不够全面

但是在我知道所谓的你的原因之前

我会继续把你看成是个自私的人

为了个人的目标可以变得很自私的人

也许我会再提醒你最后一次

但我以后真的不想管你了

因为我不喜欢失望的感觉

这样的过程

只让我对一个多年的朋友感到越来越陌生

我真心希望你达到自己的目标

我想知道你会想要与谁分享

更想知道会有谁真心愿意分享你的喜悦

我不会像以前那样

听到你跟我报告好消息时

打从心底为你开心

除非在那之前你让我看见你的改变

祝你好运

我不想考了

2011-08-26T22:40:00.000+08:00

又是让人心灰意冷的一次考试

Most probably I wrote out of point for GP composition

And I didn't finish writing for Econs

Ya...Hussain will say that if you give me 3 hours I also will not be able to finish

but my 'didn't finish' means I didn't even meet the requirements for that question

the question which Hussain said was "very easy right? We went through in class and you just go in and write"

erm....no time = not easy, okay....

Anyway, like what he said

we should just move on and not think about those papers anymore

I hope I can...

最近竟然失眠了。。。

Lion

2011-08-16T22:49:00.000+08:00

同学说这个月马来西亚人到新加坡动物园可享有50%折扣

突然让我想起我还没见到的狮子

呵呵

可惜这个月预考

看来我与狮子真是没缘

等我

总有一天我们会见面的

生存

2011-08-15T21:03:00.000+08:00

要生存呢

就是要在适当的时候说适当的话

只要不伤天害理

必要时还必须耍些小手段

社会越来越现实

学校果然是在为学生未来在社会上的生活奠定基础

好消息是

我可以回家了!

我回不回家还要让你管？

2011-08-12T21:00:00.000+08:00

不好意思

又要发牢骚了

我那么大的一个人

你可以说十八岁还不算非常的成熟

可是我学校假期要回家三天都不能被批准吗？

回家就回家啊

还需要跟你报告回家的理由？

不然你告诉我你每天下班之后为什么要回家叻？

这什么世界？！

Not so depressing anymore

2011-08-11T14:59:00.000+08:00

其实我还蛮享受现在的生活的

简单有规律又不颓废

至少我知道自己现在在做什么

我有可爱又搞笑的朋友

还有虽然已嫁了出去但依然对我很好的室友

我有能力为自己作决定解决问题

大部分时候我都可以选择要做些什么事

肚子饿的时候还有能力买食物吃

其实我现在真的过得很好

也喜欢现在所学的科目

只是知道四个月后我的生活将会有巨大改变

偶尔难免会慌张着急

会经过这里看看我的近况的朋友们

谢谢你们的关心

我正在好好地活着

也会继续好好地活着

: )

我凌乱的书桌

2011-08-07T14:42:00.000+08:00

突然有一股冲动把我这桌上所有的东西收进个箱子里

然后烧掉

我的生活有够乱的

谢谢blogger

让我发泄了一下

2011-08-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

YES I WAS OFFENDED IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE ANSWER

长长的总结

2011-08-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

最近每一天都过得好累

一直告诉自己要振作

不知道怎么心情总是很糟

很想让自己心情好起来

所以有事没事我都在唱歌

还好我同学跟室友都还算是很有耐心的人

不好意思啦

要你们忍受我那

呵呵

不是特别好听的歌声

越来越没有心情念书

还有不到三个礼拜就预考了

总觉得读书没什么意思

有点找不到生活的目标的感觉

呵呵

心情一直很不好

放学后回到宿舍

也不知是因为太累

还是因为心情不好的感觉真的很难受想逃避

所以我一睡就是至少两个小时

晚上也没法专心温习

一时看着镜子对自己说话

一时坐在床上唱歌

要不然就睁大眼睛躺在床上

这礼拜该做的事都没做完

有点担心自己会得精神病

室友跟同学经常都说我神经质

害我现在也开始怀疑自己的精神问题

我宁愿我是考试压力太大

至少那能推动我用功一点

但我却一点动力也没有

只是心情很不好很不好

也不知道为什么

每天恍恍惚惚的

Deactivate 了Facebook

想让自己专心一点

现在发觉自己专不专心跟Facebook 也没什么关系

现在还是一样什么都没复习

周末应该就会activate了吧

哈哈

怎么那么失败

如果我这个人可以爽快一点

那应该有多好

我心情不好时就可以摆在脸上告诉全世界

不想上课就干脆不要去学校

想搞清楚一件事就直接去问

唉

看来我的静坐的成果也不是很好

依然看不开

也放不下很多事情

所以叻

就会每天戴着个面具

连小丑都有个真的面具可以戴

他可以在面具背后做任何表情

大部分人竟然必须戴着人皮造的面具

有点可悲耶

最近左肩一直又酸又痛

加上所有的事情都不是自己所希望的那样

真的好想放假

我想去旅行

我也并不是那么坚强地能够一直积极面对人生

还有

最近学会了一件事情

就是接受自己一个人吃饭

住宿舍那么多年了

始终很难接受一个人吃饭

宁愿吃泡面也不要一个人坐在dining hall

这真是愉快的一个礼拜

2011-07-29T22:18:00.000+08:00

星期一

物理课我们学设计实验

整堂课几乎不需要写一个字

上了又轻松又有意思的一堂课

星期二

化学测验自己改了选择题

挺满意自己的分数的

又是开心的一天

星期三

H3 Chemistry test

依然不是很会做

但至少把题都答完了

算是自己小小的进步 :)

见到了半年多没见的姐姐

还请我吃了Pizza

幸福啊！

星期四

原本下午的物理测验

突然说是LT1被其他人订了

让我们带回家做

也让我有机会好好地睡了个午觉

星期五

体育课玩了handball 之后玩frisbee

一直又跑又跳的

傍晚CCA Handover Ceremony

结束了之后有种如释重负的感觉

终于交棒了 :)

这是个又充实又愉快的一个星期

没有人知道

其实这五天我一直难过得要死

康复中

一切都会好的

找回自己

2011-07-22T23:40:00.000+08:00

总有些事

会让你愿意放下一直都维护着的尊严

抛开一直以来遵守的原则

我会每天静静地坐着

至少十五分钟

慢慢地找回自己

再也不会为了什么失去自我了

也有冲动的时候

2011-07-20T19:03:00.001+08:00

就让我奋不顾身一次吧！

就这么一次

以后不会重复做同样一件事了

人生总该要有不顾一切为目标前进的时候

成败已经不重要了

至少我曾经搬出了那么多的勇气

这样就够了

苦中作乐

2011-07-18T18:59:00.000+08:00

每星期最期待的就只剩体育课

唯一可以让我乱跑又乱喊的课

老师说我们班很amazing

可以把所有的事情弄得很好玩

我班同学就说这是苦中作乐

念书念得很苦

体育课真必须好好地玩

那太阳晒得我快中暑

frisbee也让我跑得快断气

但就是很喜欢那草场的感觉

Memories

2011-07-17T20:17:00.000+08:00

Some things just can't be explained

Don't ask me why, please

I just hope that everything will be ok in the end

Everything has become part of our memories

还有几个六年半？

2011-07-15T23:08:00.001+08:00

搭飞机走了我的那个朋友

那个记忆中坐在我左前方的朋友

那个拿我学会 collar pin 玩的朋友

对他的印象就只有这些

六年半没见面了

最后一次见面的时候竟然没有道别

但他一直存在着

他出国是件很久以前就知道会发生的事

所以现在当然不会有特别的不舍或是伤感还是什么的

只是偶尔会想知道

下次见面会是在几个六年半之后？

领成绩风波

2011-07-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

最近班上不少同学都在议论着这样一件事

我们班有个成绩特别好的男生

各科成绩在全校前五名的名单内肯定能找到他的名字

这同学最得意的科目应该就是化学吧

所以一直以来他都把目标设在成为全级化学成绩最佳的那一个

这次的考试

他的化学分数为88.5

全级最高的来自另一班

分数为89.5

所以我班的这同学拼了老命想找出可以让他多加一分的地方

听说还为自己没成为全级最佳而哭

他在班上哭的这件事就是重点

大家开始议论纷纷地说

都取得那么高分了，还难过什么，也不想想那些需要那一分来及格的同学

。。。。。。

所以结论是

当你成绩考得比别人好一些

不管你多难过

最好不要露出什么表情

笑人家说你自满

哭人家说你不体谅他人感受

其实我也觉得在这考试中考了88.5的高分

是真的没有必要哭

他哭的理由也确实很奇怪

但我更不认同的是那些在背后议论他的同学

人家为考试努力了那么久

拿到成绩时要有什么心情还要由你来决定？

每个人在不同方面对自己的要求都不一样

可能他付出了应该要成为全级最佳的努力

但没有得到同等的回报

所以他难过

就像每一个同学考试没考好

然后觉得难过的一样难过

这个时候

我们又有什么资格

以自己的标准

去帮人家决定他们应该要有什么感受？

Some sort of disappointment

2011-07-11T21:25:00.002+08:00

It was sad that I failed to wake the sleeping people up during the presentation

One year ago, in the speech competition

one of the contestants who was playing with her phone throughout

looked up at me on the stage when I started talking

The feeling was good

and it gave me confidence to continue with my speech

A few weeks after that

during the EXCO election speech day

the teacher who was busy marking his students' work when people were speaking

did the same as the contestant above when I spoke

During PW oral presentation

the audience who were sleeping woke up when it was my turn to present

I am not sure whether these people just happened to lift up their heads

or they were really being attracted by what I said

but I was vain enough to feel good about myself when I saw their eyes on me

Today

during the physics presentation in class

there were people who were already sleeping before our group's presentation

and we were the only group that did not use a powerpoint to present

so everything just seemed boring (it was really boring perhaps)

the first time when it was my turn to speak

I was hoping that I could do some magic to wake those people up

but apparently I failed

then I passed on the time to my groupmates

I was kind of frustrated

as people were just talking and some sleeping during the presentation (I am really thankful for the rest who at least showed that they were listening)

after a while, the teacher woke those who were sleeping up

it was really embarrassing for the presenters

and you know why

at last, it was my turn again

I did my best

but only managed to stop some people from talking

and did not have much impacts on those who were falling asleep

I am not like a very talented person

so I always expect people to at least listen to me when I speak at the front

It is just disappointing when you are not doing well in something, or most probably the only thing that you are better at.

Resonance 2011

2011-07-09T18:39:00.003+08:00

In physics, resonance is the tendency of a system to oscillate with larger amplitude at some frequencies than at others. These are known as the system's resonant frequencies. At these frequencies, even small periodic driving forces can produce large amplitude oscillations, because the system stores vibrational energy. -- Wikipedia

Couldn't really come out with the definiton of 'Resonance' by myself, so I searched for it from the net.
The definition above shows how well our concert was named. The name 'Resonance' was suggested by Yijie if I remember correctly. It totally reflects the dynamic of our class, 10SH23, especially the part of 'even small periodic driving force can produce large amplitude oscillation'.

I would say the 'small periodic driving force' comes from our dearest personal mentor, Miss Lim Wei Li, a young and enthusiastic lady. Somehow, in those crucial few days of preparing for the concert, everyone in the class came to the same frequency and resonance was achieved. Then everyone put in his/her best and brought the concert towards great success (large amplitude oscillation).

On Tuesday, the school announced banning of all concerts in Term 3. After talking to Mr Yeo, the VP for a few times, Miss Lim finally said that the concert could proceed on Wednesday morning. I felt relieved but at the same time I was really afraid that we would not be able to get everything done in two days time.

The Saturday before the concert was our very first tech-run. On Friday afternoon, we suddenly found out that the PA crew were not really informed of the rehearsal and the SOP was to register at least one week before we need them to come. I am really grateful that they were willing to send their crew to help despite the last minute registration (90% of it was because we had Qian Ying in our class....haha...:)

Now I am lazy to go through all the details here. Anyway, we had our 2nd and 3rd rehearsal and finally the concert ended beautifully. The whole process of preparing for Resonance 2011 was exciting and tiring, especially during the last few days (or the only few days).

I am really thankful that I am in NJ and in this special class with special people. I believe that 10 years later, when we think about our JC life, we will see these happy faces of ourselves and our classmates.

Define 'TRUE'

2011-07-06T19:30:00.004+08:00

You know why things are just so unbearable for you?

It is because you have always been expecting

or hoping that people will not do well

So you get frustrated

when you don't do better than them

When you keep saying that there are no 'true friends' around you

Have you ever asked yourself whether you have been 'true' to your friends?

If yes, you should, at least, feel happy when things go well for them

and not what your actions show right now.

who am I?

2011-07-04T18:14:00.000+08:00

我竟然

变得

如此

现实

There were a lot of miscommunications

I admit that I was partly at fault

when i first knew about what they have said

the first thing i told myself was not to offend anyone

and the reason was because we still need their help

months ago

i remember telling my junior to have good relationship with everyone

because he would need them to get things done in the future

so now

my only reason for being good to the others

is to ensure that i will get what I want either now or in the future?

打败仗了

2011-07-01T13:32:00.000+08:00

Common Test 2011 就这样结束了

今后再也没有Common Test 这回事了

上礼拜三还跟朋友说，很快的很快的，一个星期很快就会过去的

真的是很快真的就考完了

一直都蛮期待这次考试的

从年头就告诉自己

去年没有考好的这次考试都要考好

但老实说我却没有非常的努力

GP 跟 Economics

应该只花了一个星期多的时间准备

说服了自己要带着满满的信心进考场

但看见了题目我就觉得信心是没有用的

Physics 跟 Maths 没有特别好

但也不是最烂的

反而是Chemistry

考完就有想倒在地上哭的感觉

不知道为什么是‘倒在地上’

反正就是对自己彻底失望

Pharmaceautical Chemistry

让我最紧张的一科

是我从来就考不好

但也一直都很在意的一科

考试前就知道老师不会那么善良

离开宿舍前

我：张越，掰掰，我要去打仗了。

越：加油啊，芷欣！你一定可以打胜仗的！

我：我不要被杀死就好了，不敢奢望打胜仗。。。哈哈！

回到宿舍后

越：嗨，芷欣！考完了啊？

我：对，考完了！伤势惨重，刚是被抬回来的。

越：。。。

所以啊

我就是打败仗了

2011-06-18T01:22:00.000+08:00

原谅我那么直接

但我不想为了维持良好关系而隐瞒我对你的不认同

考完试再让我慢慢思考这个问题

2011-06-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

谢谢你

让我每晚都笑着入睡

清晨也笑着睁开眼

My holiday

2011-06-13T11:09:00.001+08:00

The past few days in KL was fun
I brought my work and everything is still blank now
I am already counting down to the next holiday
when I can sit around a table with friends and just talk about random stuff

I think I am a bit disappointed as I didn't have the chance to meet up with a friend that I was supposed to meet
so we will just wait for the day when we accidentally bump into each other on the street or something
hope you will enjoy studying in Australia
just remember to say bye to me when you are leaving :)

Perhaps it would be more fun if another friend did not leave halfway
Wanted to ask him to stay
but he already had a plan with his friends
so there wasn't much I could do..

anyway
thank you everyone for making my KL trip wonderful

now I have to start studying :(

2011-06-04T19:45:00.002+08:00

You raise me up... to more than I can be

Start of holiday

2011-06-02T12:40:00.000+08:00

Holiday has started

Not exactly a holiday

More like a study break

But it is still better than having to wake up at 7am everyday

and most importantly

I am going home!

Nothing much attractive about my home actually

but sometimes you just want to escape from where you live currently :)

Monday was Joping's birthday

For those who do not know

The short hair one is Joping

The one in black is Xiaojun

Hope she is happy with the presents we gave her

And the family fondue at Andersen was nice

though Xiaojun wanted to vomit after eating it...

It's really wonderful to have friends to celebrate birthday for you.. :)

Class CIP

I would say it is going on well

hope the concert will really happen in the end

Many people have put in a lot of effort

And I believe the rest will also

contribute in their own ways

Actually I really love 10SH23

even though every single person is 'not like other normal people'

Welfare Committee

I have not been talking about it since long time ago

Finally i have told the teacher what I think

And there will be no Welfare Committee anymore

It is not necessary to get a group of people to try doing things that will never be approved by school

Perhaps it was because I am too lousy

so nothing could get approved..

COGZ exco interview was interesting

Some elects were really boring

But some were really funny

But I hate it when the teachers just want to have a say in anything

We have shortlisted a group of people

Then they put some of them under 'pending'

simply because they have not really noticed them

And some of those we have eliminated

They want them to get into the second round

simply because they are their students

There wasn't a need for us to interview them

when the teachers already have in mind who they want...

whatever

I have learnt not to care so much

and I am not complaining to any of my fellow excos.

Should be focusing on studying since it is a 'study break'

I am one day behind the schedule I planned

meeting Xiaojun later

CIP discussion tomorrow

meering Yeeching on Saturday

and going home on Sunday

Happy Studying! :)

I am tired

2011-05-29T13:00:00.000+08:00

Tired of trying to find out what I want to be in the future

Tired of reminding myself that I am not qualified for the course I want for most universities because of I decision randomly made by my secondary school VP

Tired of knowing that I did extremely badly for gp ad econs

Tired of planning to study the remaining subjects

Tired of waiting for reply from NUH

Tired of guessing what the person is thinking

Tired of having to smile at people who irritate me

Tired of listening to the band playing outside my window

Tired of feeling tired

2011-05-20T23:51:00.000+08:00

我清楚地感受到了你的残忍

但在你拿起武器之前

能不能请你告诉我

是为什么

好让我死也死得明白一点

2011-05-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

竟然差点忘了

我们只是朋友

不该对你有那么高的要求

2011-05-10T23:47:00.000+08:00

不管内心曾经是多么的激动

总有一天会平静下来的

会忘了去在乎

会让它变成回忆的一部分

Lines

2011-05-08T23:18:00.004+08:00

There are lines everywhere in the world

Some of them join things together

And some separate things

I saw many many lines today

even on a round table

Golf

2011-05-07T23:00:00.005+08:00

Why do people want to hit a ball into a black hole repeatedly?

Good friends

2011-05-06T22:54:00.000+08:00

I told you what difficulty I was facing

and I saw a smirk on your face

You have been trying your best to make me feel bad or sad

but I will continue to be nice to you

because I do not want to be the same as you

You will smile and wave and say hi to me whenever you see me

so will I

久违的自在

2011-05-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

这两天

是我这个学段里过得最自在的两天

两周之内有个占了A level成绩百分之二十的考试

三周之后开始年中考试

但这两天

除了睡觉吃饭上学洗澡之外

其余时间我都在看着跟室友借来的《读者》

五分钟前

我看完了最后一篇文章

有种好久都没尝过的满足感

除了有关经济学的文章我只大略扫了几眼

其他文章我都一字一句地读过

但也不能说我完全领悟了每一篇文章

我不是个特别有文学修养的人

那满足感并不来自于得到了多少启发

而是自己终于再次投入于做一件事

一件跟学业无关

但也不会让自己产生罪恶感的事

有一刻

我看了看桌上的H3 化学讲义

我把《读者》放下了

拿起讲义盯着第一页

我把讲义放下了

拿起《读者》

我不应该是个理科生吗？

Wake up please

2011-05-03T21:02:00.000+08:00

Zhi Xin,

Did you realise that you have just lost your focus in life because of something that you previously didn't even think that it exists? You thought people who believe in it are stupid so you didn't really care about anything related to it. It should just be something small that makes life seems more complete.

But now, your emotions get affected by this nonsense all the time. You try to understand everything related to it, knowing that there is no way you can understand this thing that does not and should not be any of the purposes of your life. And then you are afraid of the uncertainty when you are unable to predict what is coming next because this is just a subject that you usually do not pass.

So what if what comes next is not what you expect it to be?

Yes, you will be disappointed or maybe sad, but then you still have to move on. This thing that distracts you from what you are supposed to do may still appear at anytime in the future. It will be good if you finally know the theory behind it but if you don't, please remember what I have just told you and stay away from it.

zhi xin

假象

2011-05-03T19:43:00.003+08:00

希望
现在所看见听见感觉到的
都不是假象

就算有一天
你发现
我必须要从这假象中逃出来
请不要直接地告诉我
让我慢慢地发觉
慢慢地接受
慢慢地放下

好吗？

2011-05-01T23:24:00.001+08:00

Feel so cheated

Don't understand

2011-04-30T20:11:00.003+08:00

Why did I let myself believe

miracles could happen

Cause now I have to pretend

that I don't really care

waiting

那是遗憾的感觉

2011-04-25T21:34:00.001+08:00

4月19日星期二
依然可以深刻地记得这一天发生的每一件小事

6.45am, 手机闹铃响了

很自动地起床

我知道这不是个平凡的日子

跟室友张越下楼吃早餐

平时都不会有谁加入

这天chengxi, xuejie, xiaodong 都来了

聊着聊着发现除了chengxi 其他的都加过古筝团

chengxi 还对我说：“只有你坚持下来了”

聊着聊着聊到了SYF

就听说古筝今年蛮有机会得Gold With Honours 的

听得我都不知该高兴还是觉得压力

礼貌地谦虚了一下

或是说其实我也没什么信心

早餐后收拾好东西就上学了

先拿了表演服装到教室挂

教室是空的

离开教室时遇见了方圆

等她把服装也挂好

一起走到parade square

也没留心听集会说了些什么

之后就回到了教室

我那套服装竟然被高高地挂到了窗边

一进教室就感觉挺恐怖地

还是赶快把它挂到椅子边上

第一节是物理课

整堂课都会不自觉地盯着墙上的时钟

一个小时就这样过去

九点了我们该走了

走之前 joping xiaojun不知从哪变出三包巧克力

还有我更珍爱的一张写得密密麻麻的卡片

她俩各给了我个拥抱还有声声的加油

我提起书包带了我的服装鞋子走到方圆桌旁

Saiful 刚好经过

说了声'good luck for SYF' :)

当然还有zhuangwen, qiyuen, qianying, bernadette

方圆李恰收拾好后

我们就离开了教室

到了CO room 大家把古筝搬到礼堂

下到礼堂的时候

徐老师竟然已经在那等了

还以为她9.30am 才会到

开始了我们最后的练习

该改进的地方老师都再提醒

但这一天大家表现都不太好

10am 老师离开学校

也就是午餐时间到了

我们几个EXCO留下帮每台古筝调音

之后还有个老师请来的tuner先生

10.40am, 发现我们只剩五分钟时间吃饭

赶下去食堂

想吃“菜饭”但队排得很长

只好走到Japanese stall 去打包

之后还买了豆奶

然后赶到CCAR去

我问怎么我们有机会用到CCAR？

Valerie说因为我们是part of the Chinese family

唯一一次觉得Ms Chong 的"CLDDS and Guzheng are one big family" 之说有点道理

可怜我们不能进到CCAR吃饭

只能站在外面边守门边赶快把饭吃完

吃完了之后就赶快换衣服化妆
负责帮大家上blusher
大家都怕被涂得太红
就给大家涂到了还ok的程度
结果都不过关
之后给自己化
到老师面前等approval
Ms Chong 就说了句：“可以，芷欣永远是最乖的。”
害我猜了半天那句话隐藏着什么意思

化妆梳头发弄了很久
还要在头上绑花绑蝴蝶结
弄了整整两个小时
然后穿着高跟鞋把古筝搬到Atrium
只来了一辆bus
没力气走那么远
对那bus driver几乎是用喊的
才问到了原来另一辆bus还在路上
松了口气
如果想彩排时那样一辆bus不见了就糟糕

车都到了
把东西都搬上车出发了
才发现我已经满头大汗了
还好有人带tissue
那妆真不错
留了那么多汗都没化掉

感觉上大家都没有非常紧张
一路上就在聊天
应该没有人睡觉吧

很快的就到了Republic Poly
好几辆巴士
载着其他学校的学生
就开始留意其他学校的服装
好几间都蛮好看的
有些就有点奇怪

把古筝搬下车
还有好一段时间才轮到我们
登记好之后Ms Chong就开始让我们补妆。。。
之后我们围成个圈
把两首曲子过一遍
反正大家就是边做动作边唱
其他学校的一定觉得我们发了什么神经
不过当天最开心就是这个时候了

时间就这样过了
轮到我们进tuning room
大概检查了确定音都是准的
十分钟后就被赶出来了
出来看见Cafe 的instructor
原来他带的是南洋JC的团
看见他那有点畸形的笑容后跟他微笑点了点头
继续走到后台去
边走就边想
他前一天说生病不能去cafe
肯定是要陪南洋练习！

也管不了那么多了
到了后台
前面是serangoon jc 在表演
chee yong 转过来跟我说：“They are very good eh."
我记得我很激动地回答说：”No! We will be better."
也不知是在跟他讲还是跟自己讲
Xuelu 伸出了拳头说 “Gold With Honours”
我拳头跟她的碰在一起，也说“Gold With Honours"
Kang Yong 时不时就跑来跟大家说加油
Huiqi 也过来打气
Yongru很用力地握了我的手说加油

Serangoon 演完了
她们在排台上的队形
我们边等着
边互相提醒要笑
上台的时候走慢点。。。
该进去了
我向前走了一步
突然听见有人喊我的名字
回过头原来是binghan
他跟我说了上台前我收到的最后一个加油
我用力地点了点头
离开了后台

我一直都在微笑着
从鞠躬到坐下到弹完第一首曲
相信大家也一样
第二首曲一开始
有个人进错了牌子
就那1秒的时间
我全身肌肉突然缩紧了
我知道没有Gold With Honours 了
还是微笑着把曲子弹完
弹完最后一个音
突然发觉到
就这样结束了
一年的练习
多少个睡不着的晚上
从一开始乱七八糟的一群
走到这个时候
就结束了

微笑鞠躬离开舞台
我一直微笑着
在后台看见徐老师
她也微笑着
笑中带着些无奈
大家都一样吧

出到外边
大家开始说着进错拍子的事
相信没有人不难过的
我还听见了些许愤怒
但我只能告诉大家不要再提了
那同学也不好受

赶紧放好东西
走进 theater 看剩下两件学校的表演
马上就是Nanyang JC 的表演
就是CAFE instructor 带的团
真的很好
很impressive
她们的instructor 竟然在NJ 教JH1s
接着是Tampies JC
我很喜欢他们的服装
但不喜欢他们的表演
动作有点太夸张
没有表情
伴奏竟然奏了主旋律

之后就在等成绩
等了蛮久的
后来评判出来了
讲评基本都是讲些什么
很感动看见新加坡有那么多年轻的同学对古筝那么有热情
轮到司仪宣布成绩了

司仪很可爱
他宣布成绩有两个条例：
1. 不管什么学校得了什么奖，大家都要鼓掌
2. 如果你对你的成绩很满意，可以欢呼，但最多只能叫三声

从古筝1号开始宣布
1到41都是中学组的
Paya Lebar Girls, Nanyang Girls, Sin Min 跟 Serangoon Garden得了Gold With Honours
其他就Gold Silver 还有两个Bronze

古筝42。。。
古筝43。。。
古筝44。。。
古筝45 实龙岗初级学院 Serangoon Junior College 银 Silver
古筝46 国家初级学院 National Junior College 金 Gold
大家尖叫着。。。但只能叫三声
古筝47 南洋初级学院 Nanyang Junior College 金 Gold
大家都愣着，怎么只是Gold?
淡滨尼初级学院 Tampines Junior College 荣誉金 Gold With Honours
大家嘴巴张得更大了，怎么他们会的GOW?

后来大家都很冷静
没有异常兴奋
也没有难过
拍了几张大合照
上巴士回学校

一路上
大家都很安静
在想些什么呢？
可能是突然觉得空虚吧
SYF 过了接下来要做些什么呢？
好像突然没了寄托
也可能是不知道应该对这个gold有什么感觉吧
上两届得的都是gold
还好维持了水准
但也不是gold with honours
没有特别值得开心的吧

回到学校
debrief之后
跟其他Exco 去吃burger shack
第一次大家一起走出校门
因为我住宿舍啦

拍了些照片

跟val竟然又order一样的东西
连饮料都一样

吃饱了就回家了
跟Annabel一起搭巴士
在学校下车
走回宿舍

这一天的月亮特别大特别圆

基本上
19/4就结束了吧

成绩一宣布以后
我就有种不知怎么形容的感觉
我没有开心也没有难过
但总觉得有些什么在我心里不停的穿梭着

我庆幸我们得了Gold
也觉得这是我们应得的
我们没有达到Gold With Honours的水平
所以也没有资格难过
但我们也并没有呈现我们最好的水准
所以有点失望
偶尔会有点希望一切可以重来
我们会更好我相信

是遗憾吧
遗憾没有尝到Gold With Honours的感觉

I Hate You

2011-04-15T23:22:00.000+08:00

I really hate you a lot today
Your inconsiderate comments
You always think that you are funny
You always assume that I will not get irritated by whatever you do
You are always insensitive about the atmosphere
You are selfish
You care more of yourself than anyone else in the world
You don't care about other people's feelings
You tell jokes which are not funny at all
Still, you think that you are well-liked by everyone.

I will not care about whatever you do from today onwards
and I am now going back to my normal school life
I will stay happy and healthy
I will remember that there was once in my life
I cared about someone so much
that I started to hate him sometimes...

It's The End

2011-03-28T00:17:00.000+08:00

I would feel much better if you could be more direct
instead of pretending like you were confused
and then tried to find some ways to tell me that I am actually the one who is confused

Yes I was confused
now I even believe that I was blind

It will just end here.

Good night Zhi Xin! Tomorrow will be a great day! :)

Random

2011-03-22T21:03:00.000+08:00

I thought I had made a wise decision
Now I realised it was the most stupid thing I have ever done

and it also reminded me that whatever you have said to the others
there will be some days when someone says it to you
is it called karma? haha...

I shall do my Econs work now.

有没有你

2011-02-26T11:26:00.000+08:00

这两个礼拜其实过得还不错
虽然还是有很多问题要解决
很多烦恼要去理清
但我并没有讨厌这两个礼拜的生活

每天起床上学放学CCA吃饭为测验准备睡觉
这样的生活规律
让我发现
其实没有你，我也一样活得好好的

虽然我走在路上时偶尔会想起你
睡前可能会想一想我们现在是怎么样
早上喝着milo的时候会想起原来我不知道你喜欢喝什么

但在上课的时候不会想到你
跟朋友在一起的时候也不会特别希望有你的存在
做功课的时候也很少会回忆起我们曾经一起讨论功课

所以即使没有你
我还是可以过得好好的

只是可能有你有更好一些

Easiest way to survive

2011-02-18T18:14:00.000+08:00

The easiest way to survive on the earth
is to be someone who shows no emotions
has no preference
and has no comments on anything

so that you don't have to make a choice when your friends are not ok with each other
you won't be a burden of anyone
you won't offend anyone on the earth

Now I understand why a lot of my classmates like to live in their own world
It is a survival skill

They Are Genius!

The Start of My 2011

2011-02-11T18:20:00.001+08:00

This is the first post I write in Singapore since school started on 10 Jan.

I think I am getting used to SH2 life and that's why I manage to find some time to write something here

or maybe it's just that the schedule is not so busy for these few days.

The past 1 month has really been a long month

I remember after the first week of school had ended, it was as if one month had passed

CCA, homework and presentation

My sleeping hours decreased from 8 to less than 6 everyday

There was a day when I slept at 3am and almost fainted during PE lesson

Just almost, I didn't faint.

Thank you Annabel, Zw, Qy for 'taking care' of me and Jp for her chocolates :)

The subsequent weeks were slightly better

Tutorials, lectures and CCA as usual

H3 Chemistry lesson had also started

The first few lessons were fun

We were just pushing the electrons here and there

But the Stereochemistry test on 28 Jan was the worst thing ever

We didn't have any notes to study for it

and didn't know what to expect

except for the list of tested topics

So during the 2.5 hr test,

I had attempted all the questions in the first 1 hour

Obviously it was because I didn't know how to answer most of the questions

Then we received the Stereochem notes during the next lesson after the test

Anyway, I think I still enjoy H3 Chem

though I am getting blur in the class which consists of a number of Chem Olympiad students and some of the top students of the school

Don't think I will ever regret taking it. All the best, Chew Zhi Xin! :)

CCA is the one which takes up most of my time

Not because of the practices

but the planning and organising parts

I am going for Cafe programme every week to 'take care' of the JH1 kids

and take turns with my fellow EXCOs to oversee the JH practices

The worst part was planning for Cafe Try-out and CCA Fair

everything was very last minute

I am really glad that they are over

Coming up are recruitment, orientation, SYF, concert and bla bla bla

Ok..everything will be good

The most important thing, my studies

Although I am spending the least time on it after school as compared to other stuff

I still have to see it as the most important part of my life, as a student

so that I won't forget about it

I am always late to hand in Chem homework, since the start of the year

Don't think I am catching up with the class in Math

And can only understand part of those 'Field' Physics topics

My Econs teacher doesn't seem to like me

whenever he ask questions down the row he will just skip me and ask the person next to me

Anyway, there's nothing much I can do

GP, still the same standard

trying to force myself to read newspaper or magazines everyday

but it has not been happening since the day I set this target for myself

Class - I don't know whether I should say the class has become more bonded

or everyone has become excited/aggressive (do not know what word to use)

everyone had a lot of opinions on the class CIP

and everyone (k...some people) was 'fighting' with each other to defend their stands

Perhaps it's a good thing

At least the class no longer cares only about studies

We also care about CIP!

The rough plan for CIP has finally been decided

hope for no objections anymore fights in the future

Welfare Com - There is nothing much I want to talk about it

Perhaps I shouldn't blame anyone for not letting us to organise anything

It's such a failure because I am a failure

So I have changed our name to Movie Night Com

since we can only play movies with Ms Chan (not the school)'s resources

And we all agree that there shouldn't be anymore Welfare Com in NJCBS

Hopefully this year will be a better year

and I will be a nicer person

Ok..that's all

Apparently my summary fails

水灾

2011-02-02T18:58:00.001+08:00

每年年尾的时候总会听说哪里哪里水灾了

几乎每次的反应都大概是 ‘噢，那里水灾噢...'

得知今年柔佛水灾的消息我的反应必须是 ’HUH? 水灾啊？！OMG！不要再下雨了！'

然后时时刻刻都注意着窗外还有没下雨

甚至还投Chocolate coin 问天我能不能回家过年

几位同学看出我对回家的渴望

也和我一样注意着天气

昨天早上终于看见了太阳

很开心的跑来告诉我说：“芷欣，没下雨了，水应该会退吧，你应该可以回家了吧！”

哈哈。。谢谢啦！

如chocolate coin所言我回到家了

虽然要很不好意思地去麻烦个跟我也不懂是什么关系的uncle一家

但比留在宿舍过个没气氛的年还好一点吧！

希望火车路赶快修好

让我礼拜天能顺利回新

回来啦！

2011-01-06T23:30:00.000+08:00

我又回到现实啦！

首先

这就是我今年的房间

我的房间

左边这一半是我的右边室友还没回来

我的衣橱

暂时还算整齐的床

考试前我打仗的地方

现在已经够像打仗的了

这就是我接下来一年的窝

室友还是来自陕西的张越

周芷欣，面对现实吧！加油！

生日快乐

2010-12-28T16:08:00.000+08:00

18枝蜡烛 18岁

虽然生于92年

但跟一群93年出生的同学久了

过了生日才大了一岁感觉上舒服一点

不过18岁19岁也都一样

对于生日似乎再也没有太大的期待

只是希望每年许的愿都能实现

好像是知道自己实力有限

才想指望那一年一个的愿望

对很多事情看开了

对一些事突然特别在乎

不知是不是人老了

看事情角度也不一样

想在生日前完成的事竟然没完成

但也在学着放开了

接下来只希望18岁踏实顺利就好

冬至

2010-12-24T16:06:00.000+08:00

一年下来那么多大日子

最喜欢的就是冬至

它不像新年那么多礼节

也不用特地穿得美美地

嬉皮笑脸地跟人说新年快乐

也不像中秋节端午节

我只有吃月饼粽子的份

冬至可以在家自己搓汤圆

搓成怎么样也没关系

煮了吃了开心了就算

也不用到处去祝人冬至快乐

这种好日子

一年一次就好

才显珍贵

UEC

2010-12-22T11:33:00.000+08:00

The results have been released

I am just feeling weird

Everyone is either very excited or sad over their results

and i am glancing through the facebook wall

'reading' their feelings

It is related to me and not related to me

when a friend shared his joy of getting marvelous results with me

I was and I am so happy as if it is my results

I think i sounded really dumb

you know when you get excited you do not know what to say besides thousands of 'Congrates!'

Then everyone goes on to choose their universities and plan for their future

Then i continue with my holiday assignment

and go to school in uniform for one more year!

I do feel young sometimes :)

算了吧

2010-12-20T16:05:00.000+08:00

有个朋友说
一年之后就算了吧
真的要算了吗？

就算了吧！

原谅我语无伦次

2010-12-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

I am so afraid that that would be the last gathering

该死的internet

2010-12-07T11:34:00.000+08:00

有时有点讨厌叫internet的这东西
放假了让我逃回家好好玩就好
偏偏有个叫internet的东西
让我找不到借口不做该做的事
每早醒来想到那两份还毫无头绪的proposal
我就想大喊一声

求CO赶快告诉我你们要表演什么
求老天告诉我纪念品要送什么
求NJ赶快批准明年的活动

YLTC

2010-12-03T18:29:00.001+08:00

YLTC - Young Leaders Training Camp

第一天

抵达JB某个不知名的地方以后

先是design group flag

group 2 - VIP 整组十个人没有一个有艺术细胞

所以我们的flag就只有满满的hand prints

还有个大大的VIP

看起来是蛮不错的

午餐后 jungle trekking

我们背着所有的行李

走了三小时

各大小的水蛭从许多人身上吸了不少血

还好我的insect repellent 有尽情发挥功效

走了好久好久 -- 瀑布！

不是很大的瀑布但水是真的清澈

之后当然还得继续走

走呀走呀走呀三个小时过去了

大家都精疲力尽的时候

我们回到了原点

终点是我们启程的地方

无语。。。

我们被带到一块空地

搭帐篷

老实说是我第一次搭帐篷

其实也没想像中那么复杂

接下来就是晚餐了

我们亲手煮的晚餐

我组有个叫zixin的男生不是我刚好名字听起来像

厨艺超好

只要他碰过的都很好吃

反正我们当天的晚餐就参杂了汗、沙、尘 etc

后来也没人拉肚子还是什么

看见那周围的厕所

大家都会自然的把尿啊粪啊都收回肚子

当然也没人想洗澡了

就这样

我们又黏又臭的

七个人挤在一个帐篷内

睡前还发生了一件事

lights-out时间应该是11.30pm

因为大家都很不自在

到了十二点都还在讨论要怎麽睡

结果Mr Irwan来了

让我们在十秒内冲出帐篷

stay in push-up position 听他训了好久好久的话

我感觉参加了个兵营

还好之后没有什么处罚

我们七个女生也一躺下就睡着了

第二天

physical training 就是跑了段距离边跑边唱校歌

早餐nasi lemak+ 比较像糖水的kopi后

又开始了我们的trekking

这次走的是马路

马路很窄

每次一有车要经过

走在前或后的人都会开始喊

left left left / right right right

接着一整行的人都会跟着喊

走呀走呀走呀

我们一面走那群老师就不停驾车从我们身边经过哼！

也走了很久

我们都相信要走两三个小时才会有巴士载我们去该去的地方

结果两辆巴士出现在我们面前

大家开始问（自己）：‘is that our bus?'......

然后我们都让自己相信老师们不会那么善良

再然后就听到trainers说board the bus board the bus

终于有了坐在椅子上的机会

怎么这么啰嗦

反正那巴士就是把我们载到了tanjung piai resort

住的地方就是搭在水上的那种高脚屋

午饭后 challenge village and tree climbing

challenge village 最难忘的是整组十个人手牵手走过立着的半圆轮胎

用点想象力吧

不知怎么解释

有一个人跌下来就要重新开始

我们试了好多好多次

失败了好多次

最后当然是成功整组过去了

之后就是各种爬呀穿啊平衡的活动

teamwork teamwork!!!

接着tree climbing

人生第一次爬树

那树干上是挖了些洞好让我们比较容易爬啦

但那洞小得连脚趾都放不进

所以是真的爬的很吃力

可是爬累了停在树上抱着树的感觉很好嘿嘿

晚餐后是solo night walk

一个人走没有路灯的小路

不能用手电筒。。。

周围的萤火虫很美

一路上是蛮恐怖的

但我还是抬头挺胸地走完了

i knew i would be safe

走完后由于要等后面其他组的同学

先到的我们就躺在马路上

用背包枕着

有的睡觉

有的看星星

那天的月亮还不算圆

但很亮

地很暖

2010-12-03T18:27:00.001+08:00

第三天

physical training 实在恐怖

jumping jack 100 counts of 8

不能停

每个人的动作还要一样

到一半有些人就开始喊什么

'ENDURE EVERYBODY ENDURE!'

'WE ARE ALMOST THERE' etc etc

做完以后真有种想哭的感觉

还没结束

接下来是双手向前举起

每人都得stay in this position for 不知多久

又是阵阵的'ENDURE' 'WE CAN DO IT!'

是真的endure完了

早餐后我们去跳海

jetty jump

就是从个平台跳下海

当然穿着救生衣

虽然很清楚自己不会死掉

但站在那台上还是真的很害怕

我也就很害怕地跳了两次海

活着爬了上来

也忘了这一天活动顺序是什么

就是后来过了种种难关

就是各种奇奇怪怪的过河方式

一不小心就是掉进水了

且那水中有的都只是泥巴

最后大家都又湿又脏的

后来是rafting

我们做的木筏有点不是很好嘿

在划的时候前面一根木松开了

哈哈

与其说是划船到对岸

不如说是半游泳过去的

之后还两组比赛谁比较脏

我们就把泥巴往脸往头都涂了

最后两组打成平手=.=

晚上对我来说是游戏时间

所有人只能用爬的

blind folded学猫叫狗叫找自己的组员

搞得大家满头大汗

还擦伤了脚

第四天3.45am就开始了

每组一人被绑架

组员要走很远很远找那’伤者‘

还要把他抬回起点

我组的伤者67kg

前一晚还吃那么多

抬了伤者还要去找我们的group flag

我们应该跑了10km

早上是paint ball

第一次拿起枪射人

跑到我面前跟我对射的竟然是我好朋友

最后我们都没射着对方

是我的脚被她的组员射到了

我死了

我组5人上场

2支枪坏了

全军覆没

都被杀死了

接着是survival skill

在野外生活

煮鸡蛋donut

搭篷挡雨

其实这一天蛮轻松的

晚上campfire

我组表演了个skit

我最怀念我们改词的那首christmas carol

On the first day of our camp this is what we did

hiking at no displacement

On the second day of our camp this is what we did

climb up a tree and hiking.....

On the third day of our camp this is what we did

jump build and row, climb up......

On the forth day of our camp this is what we did

campfire night, jump.....

On the last day of out camp this is what we did

balik kampung, campfire......

就大家都很high

debrief 前我们唱了首个给我们trainer

you are my sunshine

my only sunshine

you make me happy

when skies are grey

you will never know, dear

how much i love you

please don't take my sunshine away

debrief 后就睡觉了

我们的最后一晚

2010-12-03T17:10:00.000+08:00

第五天
4am就开始了
还以为前一天把任务都完成了
当Ms Eng 4am来把我们喊醒
大家都’What the sh*t！

做了些早操后发现是个玩笑

我们就被放回去睡觉了

同组的meryl 说睡不着要去看日出

说了要跟他去看

结果刷着牙差点就睡着了

躺回床上跟他说不看了

就直到六点四十五才起床

七点去集合才看见那太阳慢慢升起

哈哈！可怜我那同组等了一小时

最后一天了

巴士应该十一点会到

早餐后我们就跟自己组玩游戏

玩呀玩巴士还是没来

结果老师们就说巴士要两点才到

（原应是两点回到新的）

过后又继续玩。。。

最后一次debrief

没想到自己会那么伤感

讲着讲着大家就哭了

我们说好唱最后一次sunshine给我们的trainer

不知哪个人突然自己站起来

害我们要整组站起来对着所有人边哭边唱

全世界都看见我们在哭得猫样

后来的事也没什么特别了

大家上了巴士回新

回到学校

颁了证书我就回宿舍了

YLTC 也算结束了

YLTC 把我变很黑很黑

五天户外活动

我完全没碰过sunblock

第二天去到学校还一直被CCA同学笑

到现在还是那么黑

看到我不要被吓倒

老实说

我不觉得学到了什么leadership skills

很让我珍惜的是VIP共处5天的日子

每一餐我们围着桌子坐下

有的人洗碗碟

有的盛饭

有的倒水

就是很温馨的那种感觉

五天的相处

竟然就能把这是个人变得像一家人那样亲近

大家都说YLTC是个torture

是真的受了不少折磨

但有一群很好的同伴陪着

我竟然不舍这些折磨的结束

VIP is AWESOME!!

2010-11-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

"...., find me, Belverlin or Annabel"
what a great ending for today's practice.

I knew it's never easy
I thought I am prepared
but I don't think I can forget that line.

Good night.

PW

2010-11-12T15:55:00.000+08:00

Yup! It's over and it marks the end of my JC1 life as well.
I would say that NJ107 had done well, muxh better than what all of us expected though i can never assure you all of us will score an A. It is still highly possible that the whole group may get B, but whatever the result is, we have had a good ending. I think so.
Before the actual day, we ran through the whole presentation for only less than 5 times. We met up after the last day of school for less than 5 times as well. So i expected a presentation with hundreds mistakes and a Q & A session which all of us would be stunned by the questions being asked. I was prepared for the worst but thank god, it didn't happen.
The PW journey was not very happy for me, not all the time. I couldn't stand the attitude of most of my group members. Sometimes I felt like giving up on PW, I guess I did. But I am glad that all these ended with the whole group going out for a movie, with Xiaojun and Joping.
Thank you zhuang wen, xiaojun and joping for being with me when i was emotional
Thank you Mr Chow, I hope we didn't disappoint you
Thank you everyone who had wished us well, helped us to make our ERP gantry stand on the board, made our website and of course the audience who responded actively to our questions.

---------------------- the end ---------------------------------

我不是该放假了吗？

2010-11-05T14:44:00.000+08:00

已数不清自己曾在多少个夜晚惊醒
就为了那大大小小还未完成的事
我想做的事
我不想做但必须做的事
我答应自己要勇敢去做的事
还担心着在这人心复杂的世界无法预料的变化

这几天
我唯一的精神慰籍
就是一杯杯的milo
我小学六年的早餐

MILO万岁！:)

:(

2010-11-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 10.30 and I turned on my laptop
I opened my mailbox and saw more than 10 I & Rs from my classmates
I scrolled down the list and opened none of them

It's an I & R day
but in my mind there's nothing about PW
I am expecting something
but it never comes
and I don't know what it is

Until now, my I & R is still in point form
my powerpoint slides are still ugly
I feel like talking to someone but I don't know who to talk to

oh sh*t! What's wrong with me today?

这不寻常的一天

2010-10-30T00:59:00.001+08:00

这不是寻常的一天

不用在这里记录什么

我会一直都能够把今天

从天亮到天黑发生的事情

记得一清二楚

2010年5月29日

我一直在等着的这天

让我在12小时内

尝尽了焦虑欣喜自由失望失败的滋味

明天还有很长的路要走呢

我也谢你啦

2010-10-29T21:16:00.000+08:00

是第一次这样聊天
那种感觉很舒服
像是跟遇见了多年不见的老朋友
很随意地聊些没什么特别意义的话题
但很自在
谢谢你
摄影技术比我还烂的老伯

An interesting morning for NJ107

2010-10-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

The story should start from yesterday.

Today is the submission date for our project work written report. Yesterday, everyone was rushing for it. We chose not to meet up in school so we were doing our own parts. Eventually, our whole report had 5000++ words and the word limit is 3000. At the same time, 3 of the group members were adding pictures and inserting footnotes to the report, individually. Then, the group leader received 3 written reports with pictures and footnotes.

As there was no enough time to combine everything, the leader chose the one which was sent to him first. So, the main thing now is to cut words. The good thing is, when we handed in the report, we did not exceed the word limit. (Is this a good thing?) So the whole night was spent reading through the written report over and over again and transforming words to diagrams, charts etc.

However, there were still many more things to do. Identify the sources of our pictures, appendix, bibliography, change to the standard font size, spacing…..Then I remembered some random people told me that it’s not necessary to have bibliography, so I just did the appendix as my leader said he would do the rest. And I was so happy when he said he would do the rest.

And it was during dinner time of yesterday that I knew that we had to have 2 soft copies and 2 hard copies. Luckily someone in the group has CDs and we were saved.

The climax came in the morning. WR has to be submitted by 9am. At 8.30am, our group leader, the only person holding on to the latest version of our WR, did not turn up in school and did not answer any of our calls. We chose to believe that he was printing the report as he told me he would print it at Ngee Ann Poly in the morning. Until around 8.40, I just felt that something was not right and my stupid phone was running out of battery. Then we started to look for his house phone number which apparently no one had except for Mr Chow. And I don’t know what was wrong with his house phone so we asked for his parents number. After busy calling here and there, finally, his mum answered her phone. And after a very long explanation on the situation to his mum, she woke him up.

Thank God there was something called E-mail in the world. So we printed the report and got everything done in school. It was around 9.30 I guess. Our teacher generously extended the due time to 10am. When we were happily submitting the WR to the teacher and preparing to go for breakfast, teacher told us that bibliography was important and we didn’t indicate the sources of our pictures and stuff. So, we had to go search for sources and put them together nicely. And it cost us one and a half hour. We submitted our written report at 11am with amendments here and there and we kept the teacher waiting for at least 20 minutes.

It may sound boring here. But for a group which was submitting work which will contribute to their A level results, it was scary enough. So now we all have Daniel Ng’s house and parents phone number, and we will not forget to do bibliography, no more letting only one person to hold on to everything and of course, no more last minute work.

谢谢，我初中同学们

2010-10-22T23:33:00.000+08:00

看着今年的高三为统考拼搏

让我明白 “时光飞逝”是怎么一回事

三年前我们正喊着统考PMR让我们压力很大的那年

高中统考对那时的我们来说是多么的遥远

而我现在的生活

更不是当时的我所能想象

每当想起一年后大家都会离开去到属于自己的地方

心中都会有种不安

似乎以后放假的时候

就少了一群人陪我喝茶聊天

其实我也分不清

究竟我是想念这群初中朋友

还是只是期待些什么

10月18号

早晨起床看看手机

才发现那天算是我们这一届来到新加坡的三周年纪念日

就这样

三年就过了

我可以清楚地感觉到在这三年来

环境对我造成的巨大的改变

而我相信

今天坐在高中统考考场内的

也不再是我记忆中的初中同学

经历了多一点的成败

多了一点的值得记忆的事

多了一点责任感

也多了一点对未来的期许

虽然经常还会遗憾

最后一次毕旅竟是在小学六年级

但偶尔我也觉得自己比别人幸福

我有两个很特别的初中班级

H班总让我觉得温馨温暖

我们是班歌比赛冠军

还有我们的《当你孤单你会想起谁》

只后悔离开前没有好好跟大家道别

C班给了我难忘的两年

申请转班的时候

我最害怕就是被派到C班

开学第一天

我甚至不敢踏入课室

而是哭着跑到J2H

接下来的两年

我犯过大大的错

但成长了更多

谢谢你们了

让我在寂寞无聊睡不着的时候

还可以回忆一下那曾经莽撞的时候

各位，继续加油！

别羡慕我选的路允许我听老师的话多一年

17/10/10

2010-10-18T22:58:00.000+08:00

Had a fun afternoon with Zhuang Wen and Yeeching.
I can't remember when was the last time i went out shopping. Spent quite a lot yesterday.
But it's quite ok to do this once in a while i guess.:)

new updates

2010-10-16T16:53:00.000+08:00

First, promos is over! ok..it has been over for more than one week, i was just too lazy to write anything here.
all the papers were badly done, especially chemistry, my 'favourite' subject. And i even got the question which only asked me to calculate the number of hydrogen atoms wrong.
Before the exams i thought it would be possible to score some As for promos. Now, I am just hoping for some Bs and Cs so that I can be eligible for H3.

CCA has just started. And the practices this week make me wonder whether the decision I made in May was correct. I believe in the phrase '天下无难事，只怕有心人“ so strongly that i went to run for exco and i thought i would be able to cope and do well even knowing that I would be the only non-experienced player among all exco members. During the practices, while the rest are teaching and leading, what i could do was just to sit down there and follow. I am just not qualified to be the one standing at the front conducting and pointing out mistakes. I am not complaining. I just feel useless and sometimes, embarrassed.

10SH23. I didn't expect myself to love this class so much. I won't say that it's the most bonded or fun or the smartest class. Just that there are too many interesting people doing many interesting things. Everyone has their very own way of thinking and behaving. I feel comfortable being surrounded by these weirdos.

PW is like Argh! My group is quite ok actually. At least my group leader does not ask me to do unnecessary stuff and he listens to others' suggestion. But i realy dont know how i should react when most of them are always 'never mind' to all the problems with the project. 1 more week to finish my written report and 2 weeks to prepare for oral presentation. is that enought?

不小心喜欢上了一个人
上线就只为了试试可不可能遇见他

曾想过为了喜欢的放下尊严丢掉面子
但失败的我永远不会有这个勇气

昕~when the sun rises

10~11 让我开心的小小的事

Happy CNY

Ok you can laugh at me now

Bye UK

I googled how to get rid of this

Random

Morning without the smell of NJ

End of a 4-Year-Chapter

过了重重难关之后

祝我好运

111111

Lunch

电话号码

Organic Chem Textbook

暴风雨前夕

不要跟我讲福建话

一个人

能忍则忍

I love GP

让我埋怨一下

Ignore me

Ponteng :P

生命不在于长短 而在于价值

It is Thursday again

Timetable

我想死啊！

朋友啊朋友

心情

相信你的感觉

Whatever you think I am talking about

Lies

Just some random updates

加油啊！

多管闲事

我不想考了

Lion

生存

我回不回家还要让你管？

Not so depressing anymore

我凌乱的书桌

长长的总结

这真是愉快的一个礼拜

找回自己

也有冲动的时候

苦中作乐

Memories

还有几个六年半？

领成绩风波

Some sort of disappointment

Resonance 2011

Define 'TRUE'

who am I?

打败仗了

My holiday

Start of holiday

I am tired

Lines

Golf

Good friends

久违的自在

Wake up please

假象

那是遗憾的感觉

I Hate You

It's The End

Random

有没有你

Easiest way to survive

The Start of My 2011

水灾

回来啦！

生日快乐

冬至

UEC

算了吧

该死的internet

YLTC

PW

我不是该放假了吗？

生命不在于长短而在于价值